Privacy Policy

I got your back

I got your back

Like just about every other website in this galaxy, log files may be stored on the web server saving details such as the visitor’s IP address, browser type, referring page and time of visit. No biggie. Relax.


Cookies may be used to remember visitor preferences when interacting with this website. We may set a cookie just so we know where you are. Nothing malevolent. Not like that freakin’ alien that ripped it’s way through Kane’s chest in the galley on the Nostromo. And yes, that is another Alien reference. Apparently that movie had an affect on me.


Where registration is required, your email and a username will be stored on the server. How obvious is that. I mean, really. Right now, we don’t even have any registration here at Funky Avocado.


We strongly conform to the CAN-SPAM act. E-mail addresses will not be sold, rented or leased to 3rd parties. That would be pretty screwed up if you ask me. People really do that – and I use the term ‘people’ loosely.

E-mail may be sent by us to inform you of new stories, news or offers from our affiliates. These emails will come directly from us because, like we mentioned above, we don’t give it away.

Tim ended up failing math because of Elaine. Bad Elaine.

Tim ended up failing math because of Elaine. Bad Elaine.

And we’re certainly not spreading it around like that nasty cold Elaine gave everyone in third grade. Totally messed up all the kids having trouble with multiplication. They were at least 3 weeks behind after her cootie rampage. Maybe she planned it that way, I don’t know. I never really trusted her anyway. I think she came back to school early just to get people sick.

Visitor Options

If you have subscribed to one of our services, you may unsubscribe by following the instructions which are included in e-mail that you receive. Anything we send to a mailing lists will include removal instructions and/or removal link. If you can’t figure out how to remove yourself, then you can contact us directly. But seriously, you should be able to figure something like that out.

You may be able to block cookies via your browser settings but this may prevent you from access to certain features of the website. Which would suck for you. Deal with it just like me and everyone else on this planet. Speaking of other planets, maybe they have something better setup. Not really helpful now, but keep it in mind for when they arrive.

More Cookies

What are these cookies we speak of? Well, cookies are small digital signature files that are stored by your web browser that allow your preferences to be recorded when visiting the website. Also they may be used to track your return visits to the website. Harmless on our site. Potentially sinister at every other site on the internet. Clearly, you should not visit any other websites. This site? Perfectly okay. Hunky Dory. Other Sites: Ruh-roh.


We have advertising on our website. It’s fairly obvious. You will see ads from other networks and agencies. They generally place cookies, track people, send out flying drone bots (I think, but that might just be Amazon). There really isn’t much you can do about it, but it’s only right to let you know that there are ads on this site. Which, BTW, is just like most of the sites you visit.


Crushing heads.

So 3rd party advertising companies may use cookies for tracking the sites you visit. The good news is that we don’t work with crappy ad networks or sketchy ad agencies. That would make us crappy. We don’t want to be crappy. If we find out something sketchy is going on, we will stop working with them and try to crush their heads.