If you’ve ever wondered what your dog and cat are really thinking, then this is your lucky day. We have an unedited look at the innermost thoughts of a dog and cat, courtesy of their own personal diaries.
Some people argue that cats should never be kept as indoor pets. According to this rare peek at what an actual indoor cat really thinks, that argument can be put to rest. As for the dog, you can judge that for yourself (see below)..
In the interest of protecting the privacy of these pets, I will be using pseudonyms for them.
I’m going to call the dog “Skippy” because I always thought that would be a fun name for a dog. Maybe it has something to with how much I like peanut butter, but “Peanut Butter” would be a ridiculous name for a dog. If you name a dog “Peanut Butter,” then even the dog knows you’re nuts (Peanuts?).
“Skippy” it is.
If it was a Great Dane or Doberman Pinscher, then I would have to go with a name like Zeus or Apollo.
Speaking of Zeus and Apollo, here they are with Higgins from Magnum P.I..
To this day, I don’t know anyone that didn’t like the riffing theme song (listen below!).
Great news: Higgins (John Hillerman) is still alive and living in Texas as I write this.
As for the cat, I’m picturing him as Septon from Stalag 17. This is a cool, crafty, plotting cat. And so was Septon.
In the context of Stalag 17, this line from the cat diary is something Septon could have easily said:
“I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.”
(Note to Septon: Keep an eye on the chess board)
I guess there could be an argument made for Hilts from The Great Escape. Hilts was really cool, but not in a shady, cat way. And it doesn’t seem like this particular cat is getting crated.
Did you know that, according to IMDB, Steve McQueen (Hilts) actually played the German motorcyclist who hit the wire that was strung up across the road so he could steal the motorcycle? That’s pretty amazing. Septon would never have done that. He would have had someone else do it for him for a pack of smokes.
So here you have it. Two diary pages from Skippy the dog and Septon the cat (who, just to be clear, are not really named Skippy or Septon).
So what did you think? Could this be what your dog or cat are thinking? I suspect that future diary entries for Septon may include the litter box. More specifically, the lack of it’s use as a way to “inspire” his handlers to release him.